I didn't value my own happiness as much then, being fresh off my teens and I knew I was TOTALLY selfish as any teen is, so I heeded the advice of the adults and friends who said they "never heard of anyone doing that" or that they "liked that I was getting a four-year degree, better."
I am not a fake person. Except to myself, it seems.
It all began through a whirlwind of tweets and email exchanges last week. I decided to sell my twitter handle to a company with the same name and it would match their vanity handles for all other social media and their site, in general. It was kind of exciting, I kept thinking, "Does this sort of thing really happen?"
I had no idea I was so attached to that name @creativebug. That little piece of a creative arts studio that I once had where I held classes and attended events with my cousin selling our creations. That was good stuff, but that was probably the beginning of me really going through one of the biggest periods of change in my life. It conjured up a lot for me thinking of letting it go.
On the surface it seems like no big deal, but because I have made some drastic changes to my life in the past 3 years, it is natural that my blog is going to change a bit. So, I needed to make a change, I needed to make a step in a new direction and changing the handle and everything at once seemed to be the jumping off point I needed. Ok, maybe it's not that big of a deal, but I had enrolled to go back to school to get some certification and I was already feeling unsure of how it was going to be received and I wasn't sure how I visualized everything. But, I'll know when I get there!
I've been hinting around and kicking around the idea of being authentic.
Now, I'll be honest, I'm not going to share every gory detail on my blog. But, when I finally sat down and wrote about how it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are, my personal natural health journey, illusion, deception and co-dependency (and my role in it), and living your life like Groundhog Day, my entire life truly changed.
I wasn't being a fake anymore. I was really talking about what was happening.
By not writing, expressing and sharing these things, I was not being authentic. Oh, I wasn't lying saying I'm happier than everyone else, keeping up with the Joneses and we're living the dream, going on fancy vacations with all of our rich friends, who are all also mothers of the year. But, once I stopped caring so much about how people would feel if I would write about a particular topic or whether or not I'd have support from people if I wanted to pursue going to nutrition school, for example, it seemed that I was able to connect with readers, followers and people in general in a different, more "real" way.
People who are also on a journey. People who are interested in learning and sharing about the same things as I do. People who have had similar experiences. And people who also want to help others come to terms with where they are at in their own process. I'm also discovering who is already indicating that they'll need my help. Sometimes people just need to know there is a source of support available to them. I take the "holistic approach" very seriously after what I've been through. Not addressing every angle of life, is not a way to truly address issues.
This is why this post, is as important as a post on ways to make drinking your water more exciting or learning from a kid's to-do list or dealing with emotional vampires or labeling GE/GMO foods. All of these things are symbiotic in our lives and all of them feed into how we think, act and feel, not only emotionally, but physically, too. Anyone who has ever gotten "sick to their stomach" at the thought of something, knows this to be true: Emotions and words have physical power.
So, I find that I am open to the idea of seizing life in an imperfect world.
As ever, excited for a new journey and thank you for continuing to read!
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