Have you ever had that feeling? I have constantly been waiting for something to happen since I was a child.
I wasn't even sure what it was, but I knew I'd know it when it did happen. I knew when other things were happening in front of me, but I also knew, nope, that wasn't it!
And now, I think it's finally, finally happening. That moment when you feel the "click" of things seeming to easily fall into place in your world.
Over the weekend I said to a friend:
"So many amazing things are happening right now in life, I feel like my heart could burst."
You can about imagine the eyebrow raising response I received. I'm sure not many people even say things like this. And at the surface, I'm sure my life doesn't appear to be real great to others. I'm a divorced single mom of two, who works full-time and isn't independently wealthy. I'm getting by like everyone else.
Somewhere along the line I started holding myself back, giving up, believing that my dreams were unrealistic, because as I entered my 30's, I still didn't know what that "something" that I was waiting for even was. I just knew my life wasn't right and it wasn't the life I was supposed to be living. Everything seemed so wrong and I didn't know how to fix it. My attempts were futile. I was told I was being unrealistic, unbearable, over-exaggerating, impossible, etc. The sad part, is that for the first time in my life, I began to listen.
However, once I tapped back into joy, passion and move forward fearlessly in life, I can barely remember my life up until three years ago and how it came to be that I was living that way. Seriously, I think I must have been sleeping. Once I tapped back in, every single experience seems to be a learning experience, and the previously most mundane aspects of life are now "amazing." It was as if I stepped away from a web that I had thought I was trapped in, only to realize, I was never even trapped.
If every night you are not falling into bed with your heart pounding from lust for life, something is missing. Ok, maybe this is just me, but this is a lust for life unlike anything I have known since childhood.
If you know what you want in life, go after it and start taking steps to make it happen.
If you don't know what you want in life, give yourself 15 minutes of peace to seriously ask yourself this question and seriously answer it. Write it down. And then look at the ways you could make it happen, and your perceived obstacles. Why are you so closed off? What/Whom are you closing yourself off from? Did this happen after a particular event? When you actually slow down and listen, who is it that speaks to you? How long has it been since you've paid attention to your spiritual needs?
I encourage everyone to dig deep and take control! It does take courage to grow up and become who you really are, but I suddenly became increasingly aware that if I wanted coward on my tombstone or on the tip of everyone's tongue at my wake, or for people to say, "They did the best they could with the skills they had," then, by all means, I should stay the course. That's no legacy to leave for my babes, who are extraordinary and deserve so much more from me than that.
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