But, every time a headline or an update pops up about the Aurora, CO shooting I want to know more details revealing who this boy was. So, this is what is weighing on my mind this week.
Words cannot express the deep sadness I am feeling over this situation right now. It's on so many levels and I'm sure everyone can relate in some way of processing our thoughts about it.
I went through the typical shock and rage when the news broke for the innocent victims. I am moved by the actor, Christian Bale, who is devastated that because people wanted to see him in a movie, they died or were injured by someone who violated the sanctity of cinema. But, as I watched that first video from the court room, I looked at that boy for the first time as a mother. He was someone's child and it breaks my heart on behalf of any parent who has to endure something like this with their child.
I don't know much about the family. I'm not trying to cast judgement on "what they might have done wrong." I only know that each time I see this boy, my heart breaks for them.
We see the typical responses of "who's to blame," and gun control cries from the media and those responding constantly in this age of social media and 24/7 news media.
To me, it comes down to the fact that he was very ill. And he is not a boy at all, of course, he is a young man. And someone with such a bright future that took such a horrible turn. I feel like this is a story I want to continue to pay attention to.
I started a conversation with my own 8 year old son who was asking me questions about it. I let him know very briefly the details and why I limit exposure to certain things like TV or video games, and appropriate content and activity for he and his sister. I let him know it's because I want to make sure he knows what's real and what's not. I also shared with him that I want to make sure he has a healthy mind. I encouraged him to come to me if he ever felt like his mind was sick or not acting right.
I don't remember ever having a conversation like this with anyone. Or that anyone I know ever mentioning a conversation like this with their parents. As a society, do we encourage our children to come to us with these types of problems?
I, myself, became seriously ill and it took its toll on me physically, spiritually and emotionally for several years until I took control of my health. Recently, I began to learn about the philosophy of primary foods. As someone very interested in working with others in an integrated and holistic way, it makes sense to me that there are "foods" that feed and nourish our lives. They are not necessarily food that we literally eat, but, for example, relationships, emotional health, and spirituality.
We had some family members who were mentally unwell, so I was taught that it was a source of shame. It would have been the last thing I brought up to anyone when I was growing up. Not that people outwardly said to never bring it up, but it was an unspoken reality that no one ever wanted to talk about. Or, in a small community, when you hear people talking about other people's families, you knew how they felt about people being "nuts" or "crazy" and there was definitely a stigma associated with it. But, it's hard to ignore when they take others lives or, in my family's case, their own.
Shame is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy it seems.
My hope is always that something positive will arise from negative situations. If even having discussions you never thought before to have. I'm curious what conversations this has brought up in your homes or with your children. I'd be honored if you'd share them.
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