As any parent would, I think about my kids and their future a lot. I've thought about how to approach the topic of relationships with my kids. From my own experience, my parents, my family, my friends and life, in general.
Of course, I don't know anything. I'm far, far from an expert.
You think you're going to be so much older and wiser so you can warn your kids as they head into adulthood. They just think you're old, lame and dumb. I know, I've been that kid who thinks my parents had no clue.
In the past, I thought all problems are timeless and every generation believes we are "going to hell in a hand basket."
I've met people from many walks of life: from the projects to a prime minister of another country. I pride myself on being able to reach across demographics and get to know just about anyone. I say this because I don't want to come across as sheltered, living in my own little bubble, judgmental or snooty. Yes, I love fine wines and cheeses, but I also love a cold beer on a hot day. I have a large vocabulary, but it also includes many 4-letter words. I'm an everyman...errr woman.
But, how do you warn your children about a type of person you never knew could exist? I've had to do and think some things recently, that are some of the hardest, most difficult, painful things I've ever done in my life (so far). It is a situation on steroids, not mine, but one that literally breaks my heart. It's been a real eye opener in many ways and a discovery in how strong people are made to be.
The part that I am struggling with is that not all of the parties involved understand they are sick and destroying lives. Their own and others.
I've been accused of being a Polly-anna before and, as one of my friends so kindly puts it, "You are optimistic about people's capacity. You want to believe in people." I do. But, because I feel sorry for them doesn't mean I won't do everything in my power to do what is right and at the very least, shine a spotlight right on the real issue, not the distraction they want you to believe.
As I read this last paragraph, I realize it is not unlike what is going on in American politics right now. Lies, corruption, greed, scandal..."Oh, wait! Look over there! Look what that person is doing, never mind me. I can't be held responsible, because look what everyone else is doing." No accountability.
Well, I call bullshit. How did we get to this point in our society where transparency is the exception and not the rule? If we don't hold our leaders, our elected officials, and those who make/uphold/enforce our laws to this standard, how can we expect it to NOT permeate into all areas of life? How do we impress upon our youth that this isn't the way to act with one another? How does it not affect our personal, business or professional relationships when it is all so polarizing?
Even in Nebraska, even in The Good Life, the insanity must end.
This brings me back to my original point about relationships. I want my kids to know whether it is a business, professional or personal relationship, things are reciprocal. One-sided relationships are not true relationships. As far as personal relationships, there is no one out there in the world that is going to give you what you need. It is within you. When you bump into someone who doesn't need you either, wants to move along together and you both want to build each other up experiencing something real and complimentary, rather than manufactured drama - this is what is worth exploring.
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