More about the process I've taken in "uncluttering" my life.
Suffice to say, I am still working on the "before the week of uncluttering" step. I had no idea (ok, maybe an inkling) that this part would be the most difficult! I can tell that by my overly confident tone in my previous entry! "This shouldn't take me long..." "I only have a couple of boxes..." I had seriously convinced myself that I did not have 10 boxes of sentimental items to go through!
The textbooks, college items and silly momentos like a huge pin from a NKOTB concert circa 1992 were easy to laugh at keeping and easy to rid myself of! However, I have stared at this pile in my office now for a couple of weeks. The pile consists of papers, photos and writings that I have kept and hauled around with me for over 20 years. I began to question why it would be so hard to go through these things. I'd tell myself I was going to do it "this weekend" and then walk into the room and promptly turn around.
I dug into the photos just a little one day and found pictures of trips, old friends, old boyfriends, deceased friends & relatives, funeral clippings, a photo I knew had been taken after crying all the way to school that day. I stopped short after a few photos. I thought those would be easier!
I cringed looking at all of the writings I had yet to go through. I reflected that many times when I wrote it was to express pain, hurt or confusion. I had read and re-read these in the past and it didn't feel good to relive my teen/tween angst.
Today I decided I would go through the writings. Total number? 125 and I know it's an incomplete collection. As I read them at this age, I see that it's usual teen stuff, but always mine felt so much more magnified. (Of course it did! ) I realized I had attended 6 funerals between 1992-1995 and wondered why I'd never quantified it that way before or thought of how much loss I'd had for such a young person. Why did I never connect the dots to those horrible experiences and my awful thoughts?
They weren't all that awful - in fact, I was floored by what I read. How good some of it was (even for a 17-year-old) and wondered why in recent years I don't write more. I don't really have anything of substance since 1997. I did return to college that year and saved my "good" research papers. I've written nothing for pleasure again until this year. Atleast nothing I thought worth saving, anyway.
Today was a good exercise in taking an honest look at my own abilities. I've been complimented over the years for my writing skills. It comes so easily to me, that I'm always taken by surprise when a compliment rolls my way. I am the one who thinks I can't write.
I thought I would honestly end up burning the pile. Instead, I'm adding a new goal for 2010. I will write more. As anyone knows, if you find something that you enjoy doing and you are good at it, you feel a sense of accomplishment like no other.
And here I thought this was simply a cleaning project!
More to come on this endeavor...
Suffice to say, I am still working on the "before the week of uncluttering" step. I had no idea (ok, maybe an inkling) that this part would be the most difficult! I can tell that by my overly confident tone in my previous entry! "This shouldn't take me long..." "I only have a couple of boxes..." I had seriously convinced myself that I did not have 10 boxes of sentimental items to go through!
The textbooks, college items and silly momentos like a huge pin from a NKOTB concert circa 1992 were easy to laugh at keeping and easy to rid myself of! However, I have stared at this pile in my office now for a couple of weeks. The pile consists of papers, photos and writings that I have kept and hauled around with me for over 20 years. I began to question why it would be so hard to go through these things. I'd tell myself I was going to do it "this weekend" and then walk into the room and promptly turn around.
I dug into the photos just a little one day and found pictures of trips, old friends, old boyfriends, deceased friends & relatives, funeral clippings, a photo I knew had been taken after crying all the way to school that day. I stopped short after a few photos. I thought those would be easier!
I cringed looking at all of the writings I had yet to go through. I reflected that many times when I wrote it was to express pain, hurt or confusion. I had read and re-read these in the past and it didn't feel good to relive my teen/tween angst.
Today I decided I would go through the writings. Total number? 125 and I know it's an incomplete collection. As I read them at this age, I see that it's usual teen stuff, but always mine felt so much more magnified. (Of course it did! ) I realized I had attended 6 funerals between 1992-1995 and wondered why I'd never quantified it that way before or thought of how much loss I'd had for such a young person. Why did I never connect the dots to those horrible experiences and my awful thoughts?
They weren't all that awful - in fact, I was floored by what I read. How good some of it was (even for a 17-year-old) and wondered why in recent years I don't write more. I don't really have anything of substance since 1997. I did return to college that year and saved my "good" research papers. I've written nothing for pleasure again until this year. Atleast nothing I thought worth saving, anyway.
Today was a good exercise in taking an honest look at my own abilities. I've been complimented over the years for my writing skills. It comes so easily to me, that I'm always taken by surprise when a compliment rolls my way. I am the one who thinks I can't write.
I thought I would honestly end up burning the pile. Instead, I'm adding a new goal for 2010. I will write more. As anyone knows, if you find something that you enjoy doing and you are good at it, you feel a sense of accomplishment like no other.
And here I thought this was simply a cleaning project!
More to come on this endeavor...
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