Schadenfreude–What is that?!

 

Schadenfreude is a German word that describes a feeling of malicious enjoyment derived from observing someone else’s misfortune.  Literally translated, it means “shameful joy.” 

I think the best American example of that is the Simpsons kid, Nelson, who does just that every opportunity he gets.

I love that the Germans actually have a word for this.  One of those things that doesn’t easily translate into other languages.  More of a way to describe a dysfunctional feeling.  I take the literal translation to mean that people know they should be ashamed of themselves for being joyful over something horrible.

As feisty as I am, I am always taken aback when people can hurt me. 

This week I was the recipient of some “shameful joy” and I just couldn’t believe it was happening to me.  The person was smiling on the outside acting like the question they were asking me was totally legitimate, but in their eyes and what I could only imagine was going on in the inside, was the ugliest spiritual crisis.

I mean, really, how could anyone be so cold?

As cool and collected as I always hope that I seem, I was already on the verge of tears and, honestly, I’m not even sure I’d brushed my hair that day.  To me, the answer to their question was evident.

It really made me sad, because it was a person I’d known since I was 5 years old and I’ve actually defended their rude actions in the past.  Thinking about it, I would never outwardly do that to someone, even my worst enemy (if I had one).  And I’ve felt horrible when even the thought that someone I didn’t personally care for all that much meets hardships.

I try to put myself in other people’s shoes.  Maybe to a flaw.  But, that’s just how I am.  I don’t think I’m going to change that about myself, I think it’s a strength to be able to see things from other perspectives.

The lesson here, maybe, is that other people don’t always do that. They are too scorned and damaged by life to not take joy in others’ misery, because they themselves are just that. Miserable.

Maybe I’ll send them a fruitcake this holiday season instead.